We are addicts

Every concept is false. Every definition is misleading. Every term is just a mark. All of it comes from greed. From desire to fulfill our inside. To get the world. To have it.

So. What we want. All these explanations, all these methods, all this wisdom, is another trap. Another burden. Another prison.

We will repeat and repeat this again, till we break down or fall. And then, there is a chance. To see the truth.

The truth beyond words. Or above. The truth that can't be said or explain. The truth that exist.

But we still desire. That's how we are. We are looking for. We are looking around. And that, exactly, makes us suffer, unfulfilled, unhappy.

Better ways, better methods, better actions, better techniques, more words full of wisdom are just one more, little more comfortable, drive to the hell we live in.

In truth, there is nothing to desire. Nothing to gain, or achieve. All these attitudes are ramifications of the big bang. The first sin. The change of our nature. The feeling of sweetness of fulfilling our will.

Yeah. It is sweet. It is good. When it is, as we know/think it should be. When we find, what we are looking for. Yeah. Thats a pleasure. That's a jolt of energy, flowing through our mind and body. Yeah, we desire it. And yeah, we are addicts.

And as with every addiction, removal of that source of pleasure, cause us to suffer. So we struggle for a remedy. To get what we want. And there are many ways to get it. You have to put more effort in your struggle to achieve what you want. You have to have a strong and clear desire, what you want. You must organize your life and manage your time. You must work with your emotions.

And yes! There is a chance for success. At least for a while. You can get it! You just have to strive harder. To be patient. To not give up. And.. in an ocean of discontent, which you are aware of, or unaware, you may get a moments of real pleasure. That drug, which gives you - ecstasy.

If you wouldn't get these dosages of pleasure, you may reject drug, or give up to try to get it. It may lead you to the night of suffering but in the end, you may find yourself free from addiction.

But. There is a good message. It won't go that way. You will get your dose of pleasure. Just enough to keep you running for another jolt. To keep you as a client in that cosmic endeavour.

What is "Path among the clouds"? Is there any such a path? Where does it lead? Can one make steps on it? What do we know? What do we want to know? Is it necessary to have answers? Can we live without them?

Or. Do you find your way? Your answer to your questions. If yes. Then go for it. Have it. Taste it. Treasure it. Nurse it. I have nothing to offer. If not. We can talk. Or we can speak. Or. We can hear. Or. We can be silent.

But what then if we will be silent? Is it rest before a struggle? Before we go for what we desire? What we need. Or maybe it is just a moment. Same as moment of fierce fighting. Droving all our attention into one thing. The present moment. The very existence. The "now". This what is. 

Because we live in dreams. We are immersed in our thoughts. In the world we create. We desire. We want. This is our life. 

Yet we confront this inner life we live with what we experience. And this confrontation is a source of our emotions. And our choices. And deeds. 

We create, a world from thoughts. About ourselves. About our family. Our neighbors. Other people. The rules of life. 

We still watching. Our gaze is unceasingly laid upon "the outside". Is it good? Is it bad? Is it promising? Is it threatening? Is it "as it should be"? Or is it "unjust", "unfair", wrong? We look at world of our thoughts and the world outside with ruthless ardour.

We become tired. We find no way out, though we still looking for. We thing we should look harder. Try heavier. Put more effort to work. However we are losing. So we are tempted to accept loss. To embrace defeat. To recognize that we can't win. That loss is everything that we can get.

And then the flame starts to extinguish. Accepting inevitable. Yet false belief. 

Because the thought of defeat is as false as thought of success. Both based not on reality, but on our own imagination. Both born not form what is, but from we want to be. Both exist only because we create them. Out of our desire. For love. For safety. For life. 

We have been taught to live in some manner. To think and function in some special manner. It took years of our life. Yet we were not aware of the process. How could we?

So we live as we were taught. Assuming, that we live "naturally", or (even worse) we live as we want. But form what "want" comes? We want, we just feel this "we want". It is the feeling. Yet trying to pursue the sources of what we want, leads us to conclusion that it is something in us. Something we did not decide.

This "special way of life", way of perceiving, way of thinking, way of feeling is an effect of some kind of training. Our deep has been shaped. And it we think according to this shape. 

All efforts we take. All struggle we engage. All journeys we make. Are all in the closed world we unconsciously yet constantly create, based on our deep shape. So they can't, just can't lead us beyond troubles we experience. We can achieve relief, but never freedom. 

So maybe it's time to put a step among the clouds. Among what we do not know. What we do not expect. Maybe it's time to start a journey. To meet what is. To meet ourselves. To meet...