niedziela, 25 maja 2014

Elliot Rodger have killed 6 people, so what?

A 22 years old, son of the hollywod's director, Elliot Rodger have murdered 6 people in Santa Barbara. He posted on YouTube a number of videos, in which he tells the story of his life and problems. After his last film, in which he promises revenge on humanity, the family contacted the police . The police, after hearing Elliot, find him ' perfectly polite , kind and wonderful human'.

What is the truth about Elliot? A young , rich , attractive guy , attended to  college in Santa Barbara, driving expensive BMW? Was he mentally ill?  Was he been mistreated in childhood and that trauma made him act so cruel? Was he just an idiot, brat, a fool, a madman - which is the most quoted and useful explanation? From nearly twenty, short videos posted on youtube, the following picture of Elliot emerges:
  1. He was sensitive . Sensitive to beauty. Not in a narcissistic way. But in real terms. Sunset at the beach or park were places where he says he found peace.
  2. He had a happy childhood. It is emphasized in his statements . 
  3.  At the age of 22 years he was almost completely rejected socially. He had, according to what he said, no positive relationships. In particular, no relationship with the girls.
  4. He almost obsessively wanted love and sex. It is difficult to assess in what order, but it seems that he want them both and simultaneously.
  5. He had a very high opinion about themselves.

Elliot suffered. You can laugh at that. Because the suffering of the young healthy American, rolling across California an expensive BMW, suffering from social rejection and lack of sex and love, seem completely absurd. But the suffering has only one real dimension. It is a subjective.

It does not matter, for the man, how absurd are the reasons for his suffering. That's what is real
for him, is the pain he feels. "It hurt me that I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet " 

Elliot had no positive relationships. Aside from his obsessive need for love and sex with women, he apparently had no one with whom he could share his real thoughts. He published his (humiliating in some way) confessions on youtube ( " I'm 22 and I'm a virgin ") , probably because he did not have anyone to talk about this.

He was obsessive for love and sex with girls / girlfriends. The whole environment in which he grew up and where he stayed, everything he  experienced and what he knew, have said to him: "this is what life is about". We all have sex , walk together, go to a party. The word "love", should be understood here as an emotional commitment to the relationship, not as a charity in the higher sense of the word , "for good and for evil, till death" , etc. 

He was sensitive. His sensibility was to him a reinforcement of the pain he felt of the rejection and lack coveted relationship.  Sensitive to emotions. Both positive and the negative.

He was narcissistic. He considered himself the as almost ideal, supreme. His statement when proudly displays sunglasses, and says that it is Armani for $ 300, is so absurd that it 's unbelievable. 

He hated the world. Because the environment brought him pain and suffering, which results from lack of possibility to fulfill his desires, he hated this environment. He hated these people. He came to the conclusion that they are small, vile and evil. That the world deserves destruction, and if it were in his power, he would turn it into piles of corpses and streams of blood. That is all what people deserve - he thought.


Sensitivity is sometimes dangerousWith no discipline or religion may prove fatal. Sensitive people often kill themselves because they are not able to tolerate negative feelings, which they receive a hundred times stronger than thick-skinned majority. 

Cultural and social patterns have their consequences. This is not a stand-alone  Rodger Elliot choice, to shape his consciousness  into the belief, that sex and love are essential. His obsession was largely due to what he saw around himself. Lifestyle, environment, the image of life in the media, etc. 

Absence of God in the world or in the environment results in two consequences. Selfishness, which consist in making one's judgements, the final assessments and the only truth. Replacement of perspective of life as something bigger than we can experience, with cultural patterns (referred to in the previous paragraphs).
Eventually, we must answer the question: Was Elliot was right? Was it really unfair that his classmates enjoyed love in the light of the setting sun, while he bitterly chewed total rejection and loneliness ? Is humanity really deserve condemnation?

It seems that a serial killer was right. It was unfair, that such a handsome, rich, intelligent, kind and sensitive boy, was rejected, while almost everyone else enjoys free love and sex . Humanity actually deserves to be destroyed.

It seems, however, that these are not the words of Elliot. He
rather repeated a sequence of emotions and reasoning, described in the Scriptures as satanic. Repeated that vibration along with vibration of a sense of his own uniqueness and superiority. All it results in unbridled hatred, which materialized in the form of murder.

Elliots logic was right. But he was wrong,  because he was not entitled, as no one is entitled, to judge people in that way. He was wrong, because one deserve nothing. It is a big lie, which no one explained to him. Humanity, despite the fact that actually deserves condemnation, has been saved. No meanness and injustice will change that. Nothing will change the simple truth, that in relation to another human being, we can stand on the side of God or side Satan. This first forgives and gives you time. The other judges and wants to kill. Right now.

This is the civilization with no real sacred feeling and sacred thoughts. The dark night of suffering, hatred and death, stemming from a desire of good without God.
Our desire - seduces us. Our decision to make ourselves  the final criterion of everything - kills us. "I will be their God " - said Rodger Elliot. He doesn't know. That being God for the people, consist in the fact that God suffers for them, till his own death.
Apology. I am not an english speaker, so... forgive me language mistakes.

poniedziałek, 7 kwietnia 2014

Our little resurrection

Have you ever been at a dead end? Have you ever been in a situation, where last hope is dying, when you can do just nothing, when spiritually, mentally, but really you give up, because you really can do nothing.  When you give up any action, when you loose, not only what you have, but who you where and who you will be? When you die living, and fall. Ultimately. With no hope. With no expectations. With no dreams.

Our life is a struggle. Struggle to achieve desired goals. Struggle to stay on a, not so broad, edge of life. Struggle at any price, where hope never fades. And that's what we are taught. Day after day, in every situation, led by wisdom of our closest friends, by wisdom of religion, by wisdom of spiritual teachers, books, proverbs, we stand to the battle, which we usually win. We are winning as long, as we don't give up. Just ultimately.

But sometimes the night comes. And we loose absolutely. Physically, psychologically, mentally, spiritually. Everything stops. The night comes. Utter night. And then, in astonishment, next day, we discover - that we are alive. We are alive! Really! Not wanting that at all. Not fighting about it, at all. Not trying, at all. We see, that even if we abandon ourselves in death, here - spiritual but who knows maybe nevertheless very real, we don't die. There is something that carries us. There is something that lifts us. There is something that does not give a damn about our breakdown, our collapse, our surrender. Something that stays by our life side, with force exceeding even our resignation, capitulation.

So we see ourselves again. Even though our existence is not an effect of our efforts. Nor our endeavours. We can see that our existence comes not from our will, nor our efforts. That we were wrong, assuming that we were authors of our life, which we can only shape to some extent. We can, because something wants it. Because something causes us to exist, regardless if we want it or not. It wants. It creates us. Nurturing us, keeps up our being, even if we would deny it.

This is the way, our resurrection comes. Experience of utter powerlessness and complete resignation, experience of death "live", brings us to experience of something, which causes our life. It leads us to experience, that we are not alone. We are not a subject or thing floating on the ocean of universe, a subject that has to take care of itself, of all it's needs and it's survival. A subject, which task is the endless struggle for survival in reality around.

Our little resurrection leads us to experience, that we are a child. A child that has been looked after by the force beyond our imagination. We are not something, that came to being, as an effect of random biological processes. We are an effect of intention, and something being cared of, in a way beyond our imagination, and the only word we can find and describe such care is - Love.

The night of loosing ourselves leads to the day of seeing God. Leads to experience relationship between God and man. To notice that basically, this relationship is one-sided. This is God who is "mad" about us. This is Love, which cradle nanoseconds of our life, slightest moves of our emotions, steps of our choices and decisions. This is Love, which ultimately makes us free, event from Itself, only to enable us, to allow us to see It, to experience It, to be a side of Love. It makes us free, but not leaves us, not abandon us. It sends us on a vastness of free will and the world, but never stops, even on flash of consciousness, to take care of us.

Our little resurrection has one message for us. We are perfectly safe. Nothing can harm us. And another message. There are only chances and possibilities in life. All the rest is an effect of our wrong perceiving. Perceiving ourselves as an object floating on the rough, hostile ocean of life.

This is a translation of my text in my native language. So... there can be mistakes :)

czwartek, 3 kwietnia 2014

We are addicts

Every concept is false. Every definition is misleading. Every term is just a mark. All of it comes from greed. From desire to fulfill our inside. To get the world. To have it.

So. What we want. All these explanations, all these methods, all this wisdom, is another trap. Another burden. Another prison.

We will repeat and repeat this again, till we break down or fall. And then, there is a chance. To see the truth.

The truth beyond words. Or above. The truth that can't be said or explain. The truth that exist.

But we still desire. That's how we are. We are looking for. We are looking around. And that, exactly, makes us suffer, unfulfilled, unhappy.

Better ways, better methods, better actions, better techniques, more words full of wisdom are just one more, little more comfortable, drive to the hell we live in.

In truth, there is nothing to desire. Nothing to gain, or achieve. All these attitudes are ramifications of the big bang. The first sin. The change of our nature. The feeling of sweetness of fulfilling our will.

Yeah. It is sweet. It is good. When it is, as we know/think it should be. When we find, what we are looking for. Yeah. Thats a pleasure. That's a jolt of energy, flowing through our mind and body. Yeah, we desire it. And yeah, we are addicts.

And as with every addiction, removal of that source of pleasure, cause us to suffer. So we struggle for a remedy. To get what we want. And there are many ways to get it. You have to put more effort in your struggle to achieve what you want. You have to have a strong and clear desire, what you want. You must organize your life and manage your time. You must work with your emotions.

And yes! There is a chance for success. At least for a while. You can get it! You just have to strive harder. To be patient. To not give up. And.. in an ocean of discontent, which you are aware of, or unaware, you may get a moments of real pleasure. That drug, which gives you - ecstasy.

If you wouldn't get these dosages of pleasure, you may reject drug, or give up to try to get it. It may lead you to the night of suffering but in the end, you may find yourself free from addiction.

But. There is a good message. It won't go that way. You will get your dose of pleasure. Just enough to keep you running for another jolt. To keep you as a client in that cosmic endeavour.